Saw an interesting discussion this week on whining and complaining. Since things like that cause me to ponder incessantly, and sometimes needlessly, I know I gave it much more thought than most "normal" people would have. (More on that quote in a later post)
In an attempt to sort it out in my head, I decided to add to my "blogdom" and spew a few thoughts about the pair.
First let me say that I don't believe anyone over the age of 8 can functionally whine. I mean, I guess they CAN, but honestly, I think they know this is ineffective, so they really don't attempt it. I have seen (er, heard) these people do it, but I would venture to say that they are probably joking, reiterating an interaction with a child, or merely passing by on the way to an un-annoying tambour.
Now, I believe that people can "perceive" that someone is whining, but since we all don't have the exact same diagnostic skills, labeling someone as a whiner is truly just an expression of your own opinion. How do you know that I would think they were whining? You don't. So don't tell me how I am to perceive them.
Complaining is a really fine line as well, because there are thousands of interpretations of an "acceptable way to complain". I think most people will label others as having complaints or complainers if they don't agree with THEM. That's sad, because probably there is someone else that would point out the exact same issue, and they also would look at it as an observable feature that needs correcting. Since they agree with the "complainer" it would quickly become a topic, and not a complaint. They might be able to work together for the greater good, and a favorable outcome could be reached.
I believe anyone that brings up "what some would perceive as a complaint but others would look at as an observable feature that needs correcting" has a right to be heard. I do not believe that they need to bring a solution because often times they aren't in a position to solve the problem, and are bringing their grievance to someone who can.
I will always listen to someone who brings an issue to me. Sometimes I can fix it, sometimes I can't, but I can't make a determination that I am not going to listen or help based on their modality of expressing the thought. How pompous it would be of me to turn away someone that may only know how to whine or complain to express thought, frustration, or sensitivity. How do I know that wasn't a survival tactic for them all of their life? How can I shut out the opportunity to minister and help because I don't want to be "annoyed"? Argh!
I can say with certainty that I have brought complaints to God on several occasions. And it's possible that at some point my cry for help resembled whining in some instances. I can also say for certain that I didn't have solutions to those issues. I am very happy that He still listens to me and wants to help. He calls me to trust when I don't understand the wilderness and when I want to cry and give up. I have to focus on the trust, and He can handle it if I lapse in my adeptness at conveying the thought, frustration, or sensitivity.
It's really a matter of semantics, but mostly it's a matter of wanting to see people as God does. To remember that He loved them first, in the muck and mire in which they came, and He really, really wants me to do the same. Did He pull me out of my icky stuff for me to never help anyone with theirs? I don't think so. So people, complain away. I'm practicing listening in love and understanding why your heart is hurting. I think that's what Jesus would do!
