Stop sign? Merge? Autobahn? Seriously?

I am almost 48 years old. I once had the thought that I would die when I was 86. At first this morning when I was doing the math, I thought I was halfway there. Again, a point in your thought process that says, Gosh I'm glad she doesn't teach math.
At 47 you feel pretty old and pretty young at the same time. It's a weird spot. You can't see anything, but you still want to read. You can't really hear anything, unless it's 80s music. You suddenly understand why all the middle age people in your childhood memories ate spicy stuff. Because they couldn't really taste the bland stuff. Ugh. Bizarre.
So here we are, wondering why it's stop and go, yes and no, here or there. (Rats, now I sound like Katy Perry. Sorry Josh) The one thing you would hope at 47 is that you would know what you're doing. >s, chime in. <s, do the same. I get that we aren't supposed to know it all. John Denver has a line in one of his songs that went something like,  "If our lives could lie before us like a straight and narrow highway, so that we could see forever long before we took the ride, we would never look to heaven, make a wish, or climb a mountain, 'cuz we'd always know the answer, what's on the other side.
I feel like I should be able to see the signs. But I can't. I feel like I am driving in the dark. (Insert something profound here) I don't know how fast to go, how slow, park, speed, anything. I think at 47 I should be going 47. Not too fast, but fast enough to get somewhere in a timely manner.
What if I miss the off ramp? Have you ever done that? 3 miles later with still no off ramp you kick yourself. Stupid me, I didn't see the sign. Now I am paying for it. Or worse yet, you run out of gas before you make it there. That's just as scary. Sure, on the other side you can think of the good things about the trouble. But during it you just want all the information to be apparent. If this, then that. Like, if you go over 65, you will get a ticket. If you park here, we will tow your car. Easy peasy.
I do find peace in obedience, but obedience finds stupidity in me. Mostly, I need a "no loitering"- in - life sign. That would be helpful. Like, one that falls on my head when I am supposed to be "moving along".
Yes. Signs. Most definitely are our friends. Or my friend. Maybe you don't like them. Maybe you like it if there are no boundaries. I used to be that way. A long time ago. Like half of my life ago. Is that 24? ;)